An Unofficial Smilie Dictionary
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:-)  Your basic smilie.  This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or
     joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.

;-)  Winky smilie.  User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic
     remark.  More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.

:-(  Frowning smilie.  User did not like that last statement or is
     upset or depressed about something.

:-I  Indifferent smilie.  Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite
     as good as a happy smilie.

:->  User just made a really biting sarcastic remark.  Worse than a :-)

These are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:

(-: User is left handed

%-) User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight

:*)     User is drunk

[:] User is a robot

8-) User is wearing sunglasses

B:-)    Sunglasses on head

::-)    User wears normal glasses

B-)     User wears horn-rimmed glasses

8:-)    User is a little girl

:-)-8   User is a Big girl

:-{)    User has a mustache

:-{}    User wears lipstick

{:-)    User wears a toupee

:-[     User is a vampire

:-E Bucktoothed vampire

:-7 User just made a wry statement

:-* User just ate something sour

:-)~    User drools

:-~)    User has a cold

:'-(    User is crying

:'-)    User is so happy, s/he is crying

:-@ User is screaming

:-# User wears braces

:^) User has a broken nose

:_) User's nose is sliding off of his/her face

:<) User is from an Ivy League school

:-& User is tongue tied.

-:-)    User is a punk rocker

-:-(    (real punk rockers don't smile)

|-I User is asleep

|-0 User is yawning/snoring

:-Q User is a smoker

:-? User smokes a pipe

O-) User is a scuba diver

0 :-)   User is an angel (at heart, at least)

:-P Nyahhhh!

:-D User is laughing (at you!)

:-X User's lips are sealed

:-C User is really bummed

<|-)    User is Chinese

<|-(    User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes

:-/ User is skeptical

:-o Uh oh!

*:o)    Bozo the Clown!

3:] Pet smilie

3:[ Mean Pet smilie

E-:-)   User is a Ham radio operator

:-9 User is licking his/her lips

%-6 User is braindead

[:-)    User is wearing a walkman

(:I User is an egghead

<:-I    User is a dunce

K:P User is a little kid with a propeller beanie

@:-)    User is wearing a turban

:-: Mutant smilie

X-( User just died

8 :-)   User is a wizard

+-:-)   User is the Pope or holds some other religious office

C=:-)   User is a chef

*<:-)   User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat