___________________________________________________________

Sadly both Bill Clinton and the Pope happened to die on the 
same day.

By mistake, the Pope went to hell and Clinton went to 
heaven.

They both spent a full day in the wrong place before God 
discovered his mistake and ordered that they be switched. 

So Clinton and the Pope were rounded up and sent along to 
the right places. 

Passing each other along the way, Clinton shouts across the 
clouds to the Pope: "Hey Pope, you're so lucky, you will 
really enjoy heaven."

The pope replies:
"Yes, I'm so looking forward to meeting the Virgin Mary"

Clinton yells back: "Sorry, too late for that"

___________________________________________________________

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a 
conversation.

"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.

"I froze to death," says the second.

"That's awful," says the first man.

"How does it feel to freeze to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man.  
"You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers 
and toes.  But eventually, it's a very calm way to go.  You 
get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping.  
How about you, how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," says the first man.

"You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I 
showed up at home unexpectedly.  I ran up to the bedroom, 
and found her alone, knitting.  I ran down to the basement, 
but no one was hiding there, either.  I ran up to the 
second floor, but no one was hiding there either.  I ran as
fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I 
had a massive heart attack and died."

The second man shakes his head.  "That's so ironic," he says.

"What do you mean?" asks the first man.

"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both 
still be alive."

___________________________________________________________

The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a 
three-way plane crash over the Atlantic Ocean. Tragically, 
they all died and went to the pearly gates together.

"Oh, this is terrible," exclaims St. Peter, "I know you 
guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of 
those coincidences that happen.  St. Peter was fretting, 
"Since we weren't expecting you, your quarters just aren't 
ready. We can't take you in just yet and we can't send you 
back."

Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, "Lucifer, this 
is Pete. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're ours, 
but we weren't expecting them, and we gotta fix the place 
up for 'em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. 
It'll only be a couple of days. I'll owe you one."

Reluctantly, the Devil agreed.
BUT.....  Two days later...

"Pete, this is Lucifer.  Hey you gotta come get these three
clowns. This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the Graham 
guy is saving everybody, and that Oral Roberts has raised 
enough money to buy air conditioning."