* A policeman arrives at the scene of what looks like a bad accident.
  There's a pedestrian lying, unmoving, in the crosswalk.  The
  driver of the car near-by says, "I swear, I never touched her.  I
  saw her at the crosswalk and came to a complete stop.  I smiled and
  waved for her to cross, and she fainted."
                                - - - - -

* Traffic is terrible these days, and parking is even worse.  The other
  day in Baltimore I saw a City tow truck impounding a car illegally
  parked.  While the guy was hooking up the car, another motorist was
  stopped behind him, patiently waiting to pull into the spot.

  (From jess: a friend in Chicago area said he's actually done it)
                                - - - - -

* My daughter asked me one time, "Daddy, before you married Mommy, who
  told you how to drive ?"
				- - - - -

* Actually if ya think about it, you really don't need a whole lot of
  manners if you're driving a 35 ton truck.
                                - - - - -

* Why is it that when most people drive everyone going slower than they
  are is a moron, and those going faster are maniacs ?
                                - - - - -

* The Police have stopped my wife so many times for speeding, they
  decided to just give her a season ticket.