YOU KNOW YOU ARE JAPANESE IF...
1. You're obsessed with you hair, your car, and your clothes
2. You want to
   marry a Korean American or Chinese American woman (males); 
   or you want to marry a white guy (females).
3. You're afraid of black people.
4. You know you are superior to all other Asians.

 YOU KNOW YOU ARE KOREAN IF...
1. You smoke and drink too much.
2. You wear a lovely variety of black and white.
3. You are a lousy driver (women)
4. You're afraid of black people.
5. You know you are superior to all other Asians.

 YOU KNOW YOU ARE CHINESE IF...
1. You think you're the smartest people in the world.
2. You have a pager and cellular phone with you at all times.
3. Today's steamed rice is tomorrow's fried rice.
4. You are a lousy driver (women)
5. You're afraid of black people.
6. You know you are superior to all other Asians.

 YOU KNOW YOU ARE THAI IF...
1. People want to pay you for sex.
2. No matter what you eat, it's not greasy, hot or spicy enough.
3. You're not afraid of black people, because in some cases
   you're just as dark as they are.
4. You know in your heart that you will never be superior to all
   other Asians, but you've learned to live with it.

 YOU KNOW YOU ARE VIETNAMESE IF...
1. You've gotta have fish sauce with every meal.
2. You eat at a restaurant that has "Pho."
3. You have some relative who is Chinese.
4. You're afraid of black people.
5. You know you are superior to all other Asians.

 YOU KNOW YOU ARE FILIPINO IF...
1. You want to be a dancer, a singer, or an actor, even though you
   have a day job as a nurse, a security guard, or an accountant.
2. A member of your family back home is a politician or a movie star.
3. You're not afraid of black people; in fact, you act black and wish
   you were black.
4. You don't care if you are superior to all other Asians or
   not, because being Filipino is just cool in itself.