********************************************************************* Since going beyond the speed limit is the national sport in many countries, there is universal disdain for those uniformed creatures who stop you while you are driving. Here are a few things better left unsaid. - Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph (200km/h) to keep up with me! Good job! - Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. - I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. - Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated? - Hi Officer, Do you mind holding my beer while I find my driver's license? - You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. - "Bad Cop! No Donut!" - I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far I am behind the other cars. - You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you? - "Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow" - Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "COPS" last week on TV? - Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture on my next to my girlfriend's bed. - I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket - So, uh, you "on the take", or what? - Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too! - Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does. - So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little? - Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum. - When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the video camcorder. - Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?' *********************************************************