DOS Users Anonymous

The heart of the DUA's suggested program of personal recovery is contained
in Twelve Steps describing the experience of the earliest recovering DOS
users:

1.   We admitted we were powerless over upgrades-that our computers had
     become unmanageable.

2.   Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves - Microsoft -
     could restore us to sanity.

3.   Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of
     Bill Gates as we understood Him.

4.   Made a searching and fearless Defrag and Scandisk of our hard drive.

5.   Admitted to Bill Gates to ourselves and to our list server the exact
     version of our current operating system.

6.   Were entirely ready to have Windows 95 remove all these accustomed
     benefits of convenience, reliability, and productivity.

7.   Humbly asked him to remove our current operating system's simplicity.

8.   Made a list of all files (hidden or system) we had accidentally
     deleted and became willing to commit to the Window's 95 recycling
     feature.

9.   Made direct payment to Microsoft or its agent wherever possible,
     except when to do so would require us to use the MS Network.

10.  Continued to struggle with the Win 95installation program and when we
     were finally out of time and patience promptly admitted it to
     Microsoft product support.

11.  Sought through the Microsoft home page to improve our conscious
     contact with Bill Gates as we understood Him, asking only for
     knowledge of His will for us and software (conforming to the Active
     Accessibility standard) to carry that out.

12.  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we
     tried to carry this message to disabled computer users everywhere and
     to use Windows 95 (or higher) applications in all our computing.

Newcomers are not asked to accept or follow these Twelve Steps in their
entirety if they feel unwilling or unable to do so.

By:  Jim A. jansl@world.std.com