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Human Resources Guidebook
=========================

What is a human resources? Does your organization struggle with the
problem of properly fitting people to jobs? Here is a handy hint for
ensuring success in job placement.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in
a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two
hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and
see what they are doing.

* If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in 
  Engineering.

* If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to 
  Finance.

* If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to 
  Manufacturing.

* If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot 
  for them.

* If they are sleeping, they are Management material. 

* If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs. 

* If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign 
  them to Security.

* If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them 
  to Marketing.

* And if they've left early, put them in Sales.