"The Washington Times" national weekly edition
August 11, 1996 (volume 3, no 32)

Did you hear about the Hillary Rodham Clinton virus?
Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later, in another
directory.

The Bob Dole virus:
Could be virulent, but its been around much too long to be much of a
threat.

The Colin Powell virus:
Makes its presence known, but it doesn't do anything. Secretly you wish
it would.

The Pat Buchanan virus:
Your system works fine, but it complains loudly about foreign software.

The Bill Clinton virus:
Sorry but we may have a law against this kind of story on the Internet.

The Ross Perot virus:
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole system
quits.

The Dan Quayle virus:
Their is sumthing rong with your komputer, but ewe cant figyour outt
watt?

The Congressional virus:
The computer locks up, and the screen splits in half with the same
message appearing on each side of the screen. The message says that the
blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.