Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much
would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
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Ahead of times.

Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am
scolding you now.
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Make up your mind

Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday,teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8
And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind,how do I know the right answer?
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It's mummy

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete
silence.
The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.

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The woes of old age

Old lady: Doctor, I've got a pain in my left leg.
Doctor (after examining her): It's caused by old age.
Old lady: Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it's as old as the
leg.

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Stone deaf

Two men were facing each other on the train.
First man: I know my hearing isn't that good, but I never thought this
would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been
talking to me for an hour and I can't hear a word.
Second man: I wasn't speaking. I was only chewing gum.!!